Behind His Eyes - Consequences Read online

  Just then the door to the suite opened. “Mr. Rawlings, Ms. Nichols is very tired, but you’re welcome to come back in. Let me explain my findings …”

  Manipulation, fueled with good intent, can be a blessing. But when used wickedly, it is the beginning of a magician's karmic calamity.

  —T.F. Hodge

  Tony had been mulling the idea over and over in his head since Claire first woke from her accident. At first, it was only a fleeting thought, but then he would remember what it was like to be without Claire, and the idea of making her presence more permanent would seep into his mind. The way he saw it, Claire passed the ultimate test when she followed his rules and kept private information private. She’d had the opportunity to tell Dr. Leonard what truly happened—not just the accident. That would’ve been the tip of the iceberg—one story would have led to another. Oh, Tony had contingency plans. That’s why he purposely created the gold-digging persona, but with her injuries, public opinion would’ve undoubtedly gone in her direction. Tony may have been able to keep it out of the media—he was prepared to pay Dr. Leonard an exorbitant amount of money to maintain his secrets—yet thanks to Claire’s obedience, it never went that far. She had the perfect opportunity to expose him, and she didn’t.

  Starting that day in the hallway, as he listened to her with Dr. Leonard, through her recovery, onto their car ride when he took her to the meadow, confessed his behavior and she responded favorably, Tony began to see that Claire was the woman he wanted in his life. Anthony Rawlings usually got what he wanted. When he carried Claire to his bedroom after their car ride, it was his ultimate invitation. In all the years he’d lived on his estate, he’d never taken a woman to his bedroom. He didn’t need to. He could take them to hotels or to their place. On the rare occasion that he brought a woman to the estate, he had plenty of bedrooms. No one, not one other woman, had ever seen his private suite—his ultimate personal space. Claire didn’t know that, but Tony did. When he carried her from the car to his room, he opened a part of himself that he’d never shown to anyone else. It was a meaningful gift that she didn’t know she’d received.

  Months ago, he’d taken a strong young woman and refined her. Tony supposed it was like the process with gold, where excessive heat removes the impurities. In his process, he’d taken Claire into the fire and come away with the perfect companion—wife? Until recently, he’d never imagined marrying—anyone. Until recently, there’d been no one who could handle the job. Claire proved that she could handle it and more. She knew how to appropriately behave in public and in private. She was pleasing to the eye and even more pleasing to be with. Without planning to do so, Tony and Catherine had created the perfect Mrs. Rawlings.

  It also seemed that realistically, Tony couldn’t hold her prisoner forever. From the beginning, he knew that one day the arrangement would need to end. What better long-term bind than a wedding ring? That’s what he explained to Catherine, when he told her that he’d finally decided to ask Claire to be his wife. Stoically, Catherine reminded him of the problems that his changes to their plan had already created. He reminded her that all the problems were under control, and assured her that they would remain under control when Claire was no longer a Nichols.

  To Tony, that was the best part of his plan. Over the last eight months, he’d successfully removed Claire Nichols from the woman who slept beside him. She was, in actuality, the same woman, but anyone could see, she’d become someone new—from her new even blonder hair and leaner build, to the most important quality—her behavior. The woman who walked away from her job as a bartender at the Red Wing no longer existed. Tony wasn’t sure if even Claire realized the transition she’d been through.

  The woman he’d created was as close to perfect as he could imagine. He also felt confident that as time passed, if further refinement was necessary, he was more than qualified to facilitate the change. After all, their paradigm was set. He was the teacher and Claire was the student. That wouldn’t change once they were married. The real change would be in the eyes of the world: everyone would know that she was his.

  Dr. Leonard had been right to ask Tony to leave the room when she woke. He’d said, “She isn’t related to you, Mr. Rawlings.” That phrase rang over and over in Tony’s mind. The doctor had been right. Tony wanted the whole world to know that Claire did belong to him. No one would ever question his presence or right to be near her again.

  As Eric drove Tony toward his New York City apartment building, Tony anticipated the evening he had planned. Everything was set, except her answer.

  In most cases of business, Tony was sure of the answers he’d receive before he received them. With Claire, he wasn’t one-hundred-percent sure. He’d debated his proposal. He had a stunning ring from Tiffany and Company, but it was his wording that he couldn’t decide on. Over the course of the last eight months, Claire had been allowed very few choices. He wondered how it would be possible to ask her to choose marriage, without actually allowing her to choose. If he did that, was that what he really wanted? Her silence with Dr. Leonard was definitely a passed test. If presented with marriage or continued indebtedness, would he know that she truly wanted to marry him? Of course not. The only real test of her true feelings would be to offer her an alternate choice—her freedom.

  The prospect made him nervous as hell.

  What if she chose freedom? What if she said she wanted to leave him and never look back? Where would she go? Surely, she realized that there was nothing remaining of her previous life. Her apartment, car, and job were gone. She still had her sister. Even that was part of his plan. Claire didn’t know that her family was scheduled to join them for Thanksgiving dinner. What would happen if she decided on freedom? Without a doubt, she’d need to maintain his rules—private information could still not be divulged. Could he let her go?

  Tony didn’t know.

  When he entered the apartment’s bedroom, Tony was momentarily mesmerized by the woman at the mirror. Walking behind her, he nuzzled her neck. As his breath bathed her soft, perfumed skin, he said, “Good evening, Claire. I trust you were successful today with your shopping endeavors?”

  Tilting her head to allow him better access, she smiled. “Yes, I was out the better part of the day, and I found a whole new ensemble for tonight’s mysterious activities. You know,” she feigned a pout toward the mirror before continuing, “it’d be easier to shop, if you’d tell me more about our plans.”

  “All in due time, my dear, all in due time.” He kissed her cheek, walked toward the dressing room, and called, “I can’t wait to see tonight’s ensemble.”

  When Tony reentered the bedroom on the way to his shower, he caught Claire’s fiery gaze in the mirror. He’d learned to read her moods, and the fire he saw in the reflection wasn’t a battle of wills—what he saw was desire. The way her cheeks reddened when their eyes met told him that she knew that she’d been caught. She’d been watching him with the expression of a girl looking through the candy store window. Totally nude, he moved behind her, wrapped her in his arms, and maneuvered his large hands beneath her flimsy robe. As he caressed her soft skin, he brushed his lips against her neck and whispered, “Do you think joining me in the shower would be detrimental to your hair and makeup?”

  Goose bumps materialized on her arms and legs, as she breathlessly replied, “I think it would.”

  “Then perhaps we should plan it for another time?” His hands contradicted his words as they continued their descent.

  “Or,” Claire closed her eyes and tilted her head against his bare chest, “we could postpone your plans?”

  Tony’s body was obviously up for that idea, and the way she molded against him had his thoughts jumbled, but his mind prevailed. “Oh, God, I want to, but we have plenty of time for that. Tonight, I have special plans for you.” He slowly stepped back, but before he relinquished his touch, he said, “And, so far, you look amazing. I believe I like your outfit now better than the one you bought.”

  With he
r robe now lying on the floor in a black silk puddle, Claire’s cheeks blushed, and she flashed a modest smile. “It’s November. I believe I’d get cold as we walk the streets of New York.”

  “Perhaps, but if I have anything to do with it—cold is not what you’d be feeling.”

  After a lingering kiss, Tony disappeared into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and with a groan, moved the levers to cold. When he emerged freshly showered and shaven, Claire looked amazing! After a little investigation, he learned that she was wearing some kind of hosiery that only went to her thigh. It was ingenious! Each step of obedience, each time she had the opportunity to disobey and didn’t, his hope and anticipation for her answer was fortified.

  After they’d eaten dinner and seen a play, Eric drove Tony and Claire to Central Park. The night was much cooler than Tony had planned; however, he was prepared for a carriage ride with gloves, scarves, and blankets. The longer the carriage moved, the happier Tony was for the cooler temperatures. It was as if no one else was out, and Central Park was lit up just for them.

  He leaned close and began talking. It was something he’d never done to excess, until Claire—well, until her accident. Those days and weeks of talking just to talk had opened something inside of him. He had no desire to talk that much around others, but with Claire, he could. So, he did. As the horse trotted along the deserted paths, he talked about dating other women and how Claire was different. He explained that she knew the real him—the man few people ever get to see. Tony wanted her to understand, he had feelings—more than he’d ever experienced with anyone in his life. For the sake of the conversation and the proposal, he’d call them love. It wasn’t that he thought his wording was deceitful. It was that he’d never experienced this feeling before, and he wasn’t completely sure what it was—but, he believed it could be love.

  “Claire, the other night you asked me if I cared about you. Honestly—with our initial arrangement—I never intended to, but without a doubt, I do.” Tony looked down and took a deep breath. Resuming their eye contact, he asked, “Do you care about me? Do you enjoy being with me?”

  He loved her smile and the way she never took her eyes off of him. “Tony, I do care about you. I want you to be happy, and I would do anything to help that happen, and on a night like tonight, or even a quiet night at home, I enjoy being with you,” her eyes glistened in the cold air with the twinkling reflection of the lights from the trees, “more than enjoy; however,” her eyes fluttered, “honestly, there are times I don’t. There are times I want you away from me, or vice versa.” Although her honesty may have been difficult to voice, she did just as he’d taught her and never looked away.

  Tony smiled and leaned closer. He needed to kiss her. All he could think about was the taste of her lips. When he pulled away, he held nothing back, wanting her to know that not only did he expect honesty, he craved it. There were too many people in his life who were yes men, yet this woman who’d seen the absolute worst in him, could look him in the eye and be totally honest. “You’re the most amazing woman. I have vice presidents, presidents, and chairmen of boards who’ve never experienced me as you have. None of them would have the courage to answer that question as honestly as you just did. It’s your strength and determination that have infuriated me. That strength and resilience have also made me fall in love with you. Claire, I experienced life without you—after your accident.”

  He’d made his decision. Dr. Leonard wasn’t the ultimate test: this was. She could walk away—he’d try to allow it. He would try, if that’s what she wanted, but he had to know. He had to present the option.

  He continued, “I don’t want to be without you again, but I want you to make your own decision. Tonight, I’d like to present you with two options: your freedom—you may leave tonight and your debt is paid, or,” he removed the ring he’d bought from his jacket pocket, “you could agree to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me, not out of obligation or contractual agreement, but because you want to be with me.”

  Perhaps Claire would think that his shaking was due to the cold. He waited. When she didn’t reply, he said, “You told me yesterday no more black boxes, so I took it out of its box.” He grinned. “Could we see if it fits?”

  Claire nodded and extended her left hand, covered by a large mitten.

  Tony smiled as he removed the fuzzy mitten and placed the ring on her fourth finger. “It seems to fit.” Tony looked into her emerald eyes. “The question still seems to be unanswered. Do you want to keep it on and stay with me? Will you please be Claire Rawlings?”

  “I-I’m so surprised,” she stuttered, “ar-are you seriously asking me to marry you?”

  He grinned and bowed his nose to hers. “Yes, my dear. This entire night has been leading to this proposal. I’ve watched you with me in private, in public, and with my closest friends. I want you there always. I love you.”

  “Please,” she implored, “please, let me think. I promise you an answer soon.”

  He did what she asked. It wasn’t often that Claire asked anything of him, and now she wanted time to think. As the carriage moved slowly around the frost-dusted park, Tony wondered how much time she wanted. Each moment made him more anxious. Maybe he hadn’t thought this through enough. What if she chose freedom? Could he do what he’d said? Could he give it to her? As the panic continued to build a defensive wall, her beautiful voice broke through—shattering his doubts and calming his anxiety.

  “God help me, yes—Tony, I’ll marry you.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her tenderly. When their lips separated, Claire confessed, “I love you too.”

  Relief like he’d never known filled his chest. Despite the frigid temperatures, he was warm and satisfied. Her confession of love was the most wonderful thing he’d ever heard.

  The next morning, Tony slipped from their bed and made his way down to his office. He didn’t care that it was Thanksgiving morning. He had a wedding to plan, and he wanted it done—now. Glancing at the clock, 7:03 AM, he knew who he needed to call first.

  He’d discussed his plans with Catherine, and since Claire’s conversation with Dr. Leonard, Catherine’s opinion of Claire, too, had softened. She even told Tony more than once that she thought Claire was good for him. Funny, that was also what Courtney had said. It was more than that. Catherine spent hours and hours working with Claire and helping her recover from her accident. Tony suspected that it reminded Catherine of her own accident years ago. She knew firsthand the difficult path Claire endured, both mentally and physically. She understood it in a way Tony never would. That common experience created a bond between the two women. Of course, Catherine never admitted that, but she did say that when Tony was with Claire, especially during her recovery, Catherine saw Nathaniel in him. Although, Tony hadn’t witnessed Nathaniel and Marie’s interaction during that time, he knew a compliment when he heard one.

  Despite all of that, Tony wasn’t sure how Catherine honestly felt about the marriage thing. He squared his shoulders and hit CALL. Catherine answered on the second ring. “Yes?”

  “Good morning, Marie.”

  “Anton … you have heard of holidays, haven’t you?”

  “I thought you would want to be the first to hear my news—our news.”

  Catherine gasped. “You did it, didn’t you? You asked her and she said yes?”

  “Yes, and she’s very anxious for your reaction.”

  “You actually asked her?” She emphasized the word.

  “Yes—I asked her.”

  “And she said yes?”

  Tony grinned into his phone. “Should I be offended that you find this so difficult to believe?”

  “No, you shouldn’t. I’m just—just—pleased. I think you’re right. The situation couldn’t go on the way it was much longer. This makes perfect sense. Besides, I can tell … it’s what you want.”

  “I do,” Tony agreed.

  “Did you offer her an alternative?”

  “Her freedom.”<
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  “Oh, Anton, what if she’d gone that way?”

  “She didn’t.”

  Catherine’s tone hardened. “Tell me how this changes things.”

  “It doesn’t. Like you just said, it’s a continuation.”

  “She’ll have your name. Things will change.”

  Although his office door was closed, Tony lowered his voice. “She’ll share the name Rawlings. You know as well as I, that she’ll never be able to share my name and we both know why.”

  “Do you? Do you remember? It’s important that you remember.”

  “Marie, how could I forget? I remember as well as you.”

  “Are you in love with her?”

  Tony hesitated. “I believe I am.”

  “And you don’t believe that changes anything.”

  “Maybe it does,” Tony conceded. “Maybe it changes her role, but it doesn’t change her debt. Now it has become a debt that she’ll pay forever. That’s the way this works, right? Forever—until death do us part?”

  “No, Anton, it goes beyond that. I can promise you that.”

  He sat taller. “It may not have been the original plan, but once she says I do, there’ll be one less Nichols.”

  “You believe that, don’t you?”

  “Don’t you?” Tony asked. “Tell me that we haven’t changed her and made her into a Rawlings.”

  “She has changed. I see that.” Catherine conceded.

  “I’ve helped you and you’ve helped me. Can I continue to count on your assistance?”

  Catherine’s tone softened. “Yes, of course, Anton. Nathaniel intended for us to work together. I won’t be the one to disappoint him.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Neither will I.”

  In a professional tone, Catherine replied, “Mr. Rawlings, please tell the future Mrs. Rawlings that I’m very happy for both of you.”

  Tony smiled. “I’ll do that. Marie?”

  “Yes?”

  “This has worked out much better than I ever imagined, and I know it wouldn’t have without you.”