Into the Light Read online

  At last census the Northern Light had over 450 followers who all lived, worshipped, and worked for Father Gabriel and The Light. The Western Light had nearly three hundred, and the Eastern Light, the first campus, had over one hundred. The Eastern Light purposely remained small due to its urban location. It had neither the space nor the isolation of the Northern and Western Light communities. The Eastern Light served primarily as the point of entry for many of the followers. Once they were tested and found acceptable, they were assigned to one of the larger campuses. Assignment was usually based on the follower’s abilities as well as the needs of each campus.

  As Father Gabriel’s voice transcended the miles and his prayer wished blessings on our souls, my thoughts returned to Sara, to Sister Lilith’s intentions, and Sara’s healing.

  This is wrong. My body and mind should be focused on Father Gabriel.

  Internal conflict was one reason I’d resisted the assignment of a wife. Another reason was my desire to succeed. Throughout my life, no matter the endeavor—from the military to The Light—my goal had always been success. With the addition of a wife, everything changed. For the first time, success wasn’t contingent only upon me, but also upon Sara.

  Before the Commission assigned a follower a wife, especially one in need of indoctrination, the husband-to-be received training. As a member of the Assembly, I’d been involved with many trainings. I knew the strict protocol and what was expected.

  Since my assignment to the Assembly nearly a year ago, I’d listened to followers who claimed to be having difficulty with the indoctrination protocol. From my lofty position, I’d piously remind those followers that they were but a part of Father Gabriel’s body of believers, as were their new wives, and all parts of the body must work together. I’d said, “We’ve been taught that if something causes us to lose our way, we must remove it. It’s written that if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out. It’s better to enter the kingdom of Light with only one eye than to be cast out.” Then I’d ask, “Is your new wife causing you to lose your way, to forget Father Gabriel’s teachings, or will you be able to control her and help her become a productive member of the body?”

  Though everyone claimed they’d succeed, there were failures. Insubordinate members of the body were banished and removed—the ultimate penalty, paid with the ultimate price. My head knew the answers. Hell, I’d said the answers. I also knew the consequences.

  However, now, for the first time in my memory, I felt conflicted. I was supposed to train and rule Sara, yet in a very short time, even without her eyes and with a limited ability to speak, she’d developed a power over me. When she’d asked me about my asking her to marry me, I was taken aback, and when her hands trembled at the mere thought of my correction, my stomach turned. Kissing her hand was a reflex. I didn’t consider the penalties. I knew the prescribed timetable. At this point my affection was to be limited and nonsexual. The touching of her hair and even platonic kisses to her head were acceptable, but not affection or comfort, not yet.

  As Father Gabriel concluded the opening prayer, guilt tugged at my conscience, and I contemplated confessing my affectionate behavior. The only thing stopping me was concern regarding punishment. I didn’t worry about myself; I never had. I was a firm believer that if I did wrong, I deserved correction. I’d never expected less of myself than I did of my subordinates. Everyone was accountable.

  Now was different. Though I hadn’t planned on it, nor wanted it, now I cared. I cared about someone other than myself. I knew what Sara had endured and what was still to come.

  “. . . blessed by me, Father Gabriel, The Light of our God. Amen.”

  “Amen,” came resoundingly from all sixteen men around the large conference table. I scanned the eyes around me.

  Do they also have these conflicting thoughts or is it just me?

  As soon as my gaze was met by Brother Timothy’s, I knew that I wouldn’t confess my show of affection. I couldn’t risk it, not as long as Sara was vulnerable. With Brother Timothy’s eyes on me, I refused to show or admit to weakness.

  I’d never understood the animosity that glowed in his eyes. When I’d first arrived at the Northern Light nearly three years before, he and Sister Lilith were the only unwelcoming followers. With time I’d learned to ignore them. Their enmity didn’t affect my goal. Even after being appointed to the Assembly, I was able to ignore them.

  Suddenly the thought crossed my mind: the Commission had assigned Sara to me.

  Was I assigned Sara to fail? Does Brother Timothy dislike me so much as to capitalize on this unfamiliar assignment? Will Sara undo my success?

  I forced myself to concentrate on the words spoken around me. The Assemblymen had begun reading their daily reports. We each had a specific topic, and since each topic was approached daily, the reports were often quick. It was a good way to keep the Assembly, the Commission, and Father Gabriel current on the overall status of the community.

  My primary job for The Light was as one of the pilots. I transported Father Gabriel from campus to campus and flew supplies to the Northern Light. My military training had been significant in preparing me for The Light. Most importantly, I’d flown a C-12A in and out of Iraq, and also, I thrived under the regimented life. Taking and giving orders, as well as following and implementing rules, were my forte.

  As an Assemblyman I was to oversee and settle disputes. Father Gabriel required cohesive living on all his campuses. Everyone’s behavior was continually monitored. Any disobedience was brought to me. If I believed the behavior warranted correction, I took the offense to the Commission. If the Commission forwarded it to Father Gabriel, the usual course of action was public correction. Banishment was the ultimate punishment. Simply the knowledge that such punishments were possible served as a powerful deterrent.

  Brother Raphael, the longest-standing Commissioner, conducted the morning meetings. At the Northern Light he was second in reverence only to Father Gabriel. His deep voice reverberated through the conference room. “Brother Jacob, please share your report.”

  I stood and addressed the Commission and Assembly. After my report was complete, he asked Brother Luke about some new followers. Luke and his wife Elizabeth were responsible for all new followers at the Northern Light.

  Luke went on, talking about a husband and wife who’d come to The Light, how they were progressing well with their training and would soon be granted an apartment. Brother Raphael went on to ask the Assemblyman in charge of housing how soon an apartment would be ready. As they discussed the possible housing and job assignments for this new couple, the temperature of the room seemed to rise and my palms moistened. Though I knew Sara was the next topic of conversation, I tried to think of anything else. The way Brother Raphael had retained his Boston accent through all the years. The way Luke’s back straightened with pride as he spoke about the new followers’ success.

  My eyes met Brother Timothy’s and his cold glare interrupted my thoughts. Purposely I moved my gaze to Brother Daniel’s face and took in its approving shine. As my overseer, Brother Daniel had repeatedly put his trust in me and my abilities.

  Damn, I have to do this. I won’t fail him or add fuel to Brother Timothy’s dislike.

  “Brother Jacob,” Brother Raphael said. “I could ask Brother Luke, but let’s skip ahead. Your new wife is awake. Please tell us how things are progressing at the clinic, and if you believe we have any problems or glitches with her progress.”

  I stood again and inhaled, my usual confidence waning. If I didn’t say something about my unease, I feared it’d be noticed. I needed to tackle the subject head on. “I apologize for my less-than-stellar presentation. I’ve spent the last ten nights sleeping in a chair, my head on the end of Sara’s bed.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s less than conducive to a good night’s sleep. If my demeanor seems off, I plead matrimonial insomnia.”

  Benjamin laughed, breaking my mounting tension and coming to my rescue. “No, Brother Jacob, in another mon
th we can rib you about matrimonial insomnia; now you’re just exhausted. At least in a month you’ll have a smile.” Laughter came from all around the table before Benjamin continued, “Raquel told me about your wife. It sounds as though she’s coming along.”

  I nodded, eternally grateful for the change in formality. “Being in this position is considerably different from training someone for it. Currently Sister Lilith”—I turned toward my nemesis—“thank you, Brother Timothy, currently Sister Lilith is beginning Sara’s training.”

  “Why?” Brother Raphael spoke sharply.

  “I was told—”

  Brother Timothy interrupted. “You see, Sara seemed to be doing well, very well, and she isn’t coming to us as a mere follower. She’ll be filling the role of a wife of an Assemblyman, part of the chosen. Her success is paramount and, after what has happened in the past . . . we believed it was better to jump ahead and begin Sara’s training. Father Gabriel teaches that an idle mind is the devil’s playground. Keeping Sara occupied, engaged, and learning is—”

  “Brother Jacob?” The entire room stopped—moving, breathing, everything—at the rare sound of Father Gabriel’s voice. He was often more of an observer of our meetings than a participant.

  “Yes, Father Gabriel.” I turned respectfully toward the screen.

  “I want to hear the particulars, not about what others are doing. Sara was given to you. You’ve been absent from us since her arrival and accident over a week ago until yesterday. Yesterday you pleaded the case for her nutrients. I see what’s happening. I want to hear it from you.”

  He sees what’s happening? What does that mean?

  My pulse quickened. “Father, what particulars?”

  “Taking on a wife is a big responsibility. The Lord chose the church as his bride, and now your bride has arrived. It’s your responsibility to acclimate her. Tell us, how is it progressing?”

  “I believe it’s progressing well. So far she doesn’t seem to have memories of her life in the dark. She’s nervous and scared, which is normal. The loss of sight, as well as her injuries, are keeping her dependent. I’m doing what I’ve told others to do, teaching her the rules, her role as my wife, and the restrictions she can expect, all the while convincing her this was, and has been, her life.” I took a breath. “Speaking of restrictions, I know her sight must be restricted until some of her injuries heal. However, I’d like to have the cast on her leg changed to one that would allow her to wa—”

  “It’s not time!” Brother Timothy interjected.

  “Brother Timothy.” Father Gabriel’s voice transcended the miles. “It wasn’t time for Sister Lilith to begin training either. Let Brother Jacob continue. And let me make myself clear: I don’t want history to repeat itself. The Eastern Light usually weeds out failures. Sara is at the Northern Light. We must all work toward her success.”

  “Yes, Father,” Brother Timothy replied.

  “Brother Jacob, tell us if there have been any problems.”

  “Only one.” I swallowed. “Though Sara was forbidden to speak, yesterday she did.”

  Murmurs came from around the table.

  “What was your response?” Father Gabriel asked.

  “I corrected her. I take my responsibility seriously. The Commission is ultimately responsible, but it’s my duty to teach, correct, and bring her into The Light.”

  The room waited as Father Gabriel sat quietly, his fingers steepled before him, thinking and watching. His customary shirt and tie, without a suit coat, were a stark contrast to the cherry-paneled wall behind him.

  “Yes,” Father Gabriel finally said. “Brother Timothy was right—most new followers don’t come into The Light as chosen. Sister Sara has already achieved a status most women never will. While this is unusual, thankfully, Brother Jacob, you have a better understanding of the acclimation protocol than the average follower. I’m pleased to learn that you’re compliant and capable of handling situations as they occur. I’m certain you’re aware of the consequences not only to Sara but to you should this indoctrination fail?”

  “Yes, Father, I am,” I answered, steadfast.

  “Brother Luke,” Father Gabriel continued. “Sister Sara’s continued treatment is under your supervision. You and Dr. Newton decide when it’s time for her cast to be changed. However, I have a few more questions for Brother Jacob.”

  “Yes, Father?”

  “Tell us how your wife responded when she learned of your control over her necessities: eating, using the restroom, sleeping, drinking, and hygiene.”

  “She hasn’t fought my control. She’s acquiesced.”

  “And when you corrected her? What did you do? How did she respond?”

  I looked toward Brother Daniel. His expression instructed me to answer honestly. The lump in my throat grew, but I continued. “When she spoke, without permission, I utilized corporal punishment. I slapped her. It was a swift carriage of correction.”

  “Acceptable,” Father Gabriel replied. “Go on.”

  “I then required her to repeat her name and that we were wed.” Before anyone could speak, I added, “And she did. That was yesterday. This morning I discussed it with her further. Though she seems confused, I believe she’s a quick learner and is adapting.”

  I wasn’t completely forthcoming—I didn’t tell them about her trembling or my affection—but I’d answered truthfully.

  “Brother Jacob?” Brother Timothy’s voice dominated the room.

  “Yes?”

  “We know what happened during the incident. Tell the Commission what happened yesterday during Dr. Newton’s examination.”

  I stood taller and clenched my teeth. Timothy’s question meant one thing: Newton had talked to him.

  “Was there a problem?” Luke asked.

  “I take the responsibility you’ve entrusted to me very seriously,” I began. “That goes for all my responsibilities, from my quest to follow The Light to my assignment on the Assembly. One day Sara will be mine in all ways. I’ve helped her with things that by The Light’s decree aren’t to be shared by those not bound by marriage. Father, you speak of modesty for our women. Therefore I demanded to be present during Dr. Newton’s examination, and only allowed him access to Sara’s injuries.” I took a deep breath and turned back to Brother Daniel. I wouldn’t mention her questioning her eyes unless it was brought up.

  “Brother Timothy?” Brother Daniel asked. “Is there something I missed? Are you aware of anything else that happened during Sister Sara’s examination that wasn’t acceptable?”

  I held my breath as Timothy glared in my direction.

  “Dr. Newton doesn’t believe he was allowed full access to his patient.”

  “Brother Timothy?”

  We all turned toward Father Gabriel’s voice.

  “Yes, Father?” Timothy responded.

  “Perhaps you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a new wife. I believe Brother Jacob’s protectiveness is supported by my doctrine. Do you see a problem with that? If so, please, Brother, enlighten us.”

  I bit my tongue, wanting to interject, but happy with Father Gabriel’s input.

  “No, not at all.” Brother Timothy sat taller. “However, I’m concerned that we won’t be able to get a good assessment of Sister Sara until Dr. Newton and my wife are able to spend significant time with her.”

  “Fine. Brother Jacob.” Father Gabriel changed the subject. “Have you continued Sister Sara’s speech restriction? Since she’s spoken, she obviously knows she can do so without damage to her vocal cords?”

  “Yes, Father. I’m only allowing her to speak with me.”

  “And?”

  “And she’s obeyed. I realize that speaking now is sooner than the protocol recommends. For that reason, Father, I request your permission to allow her to only speak to me, for the next few days. As we all know, this early stage of indoctrination is extremely formative. If you agree, I’d continue to allow Sister Lilith’s training and Sister Raquel’s assistan
ce. Of course Dr. Newton can treat her, with me present, but I request that for now she only be questioned in a yes-no format by anyone other than me.” This was a rare opportunity to bypass the Commission, and I presented my case. “She’s still confused, as is standard. Even if she’s allowed to get the walking cast, with her other injuries she won’t be able to move without pain. I understand this important stage. I’ve seen what can happen. For Sara, myself, and our future family, I ask that I be allowed to be the one who walks my wife into The Light.”

  My request was brazen and unusual, but then again, Brother Timothy was right, most women were given to followers who needed the guidance of the Assembly. As a member of the Assembly, I was exercising my right, or so I hoped.

  “Brother, after Assembly, I’ll meet with the Commission. Brother Daniel will contact you later with my answer. Shall we carry on?”

  “Thank you, Father,” I said, resuming my seat and avoiding Brother Timothy’s glare.

  “Now,” Brother Raphael said. “It’s time for our report regarding the powerhouse. With the colder-than-normal November temperatures, tell us about the turbines. Is there any fear of them freezing?”

  Two and a half hours after I’d left Sara, I returned to the clinic. Though parts of it resembled a hospital, only Dr. Newton had a medical degree. The others who staffed the clinic were there on assignment based on their attributes. Most of the support staff’s skills were acquired here at the Northern Light, unless they came willingly with prior knowledge. Either way, the dedication and commitment of the followers made them excellent learners. As I approached Sara’s room, one of the only single rooms—the primary one used for acclimation of acquired followers—I listened.

  Hearing only silence, I assumed Lilith had left. Though I considered looking for Raquel to learn more about the training, I chose instead to open the door. I was right: Sara was alone. With the head of her bed reclined, I saw only the back of her head, her golden braid loose from lying against the pillow. I waited for her to turn, wondering if she was awake or asleep, and then I heard the sniffles and saw her shoulders shudder. She was awake—and was crying.