Into the Light Read online

  Each challenge presented to me was a test or a stepping stone. The only way to access the knowledge of the inner workings of The Light was to succeed. With the addition of a wife, I hadn’t only passed one of the final tests, I’d become vulnerable. That vulnerability made me less of a threat, less likely to breach The Light’s trust.

  That vulnerability was one of the reasons Sara’s desire to have children could never be fulfilled. I couldn’t increase my susceptibility. There was already too much at stake.

  Over the past three years, each decision I’d made and each action had worked together to gain Father Gabriel’s confidence. It also helped that Xavier had recently become ill. Since his replacement wasn’t trusted enough to ship product, Father Gabriel decided that I was.

  Finally I’d been entrusted to deliver a full order of pharmaceuticals. While I finished the transaction, from the depths of my jean pocket, my cell phone buzzed. Though the men before me were capable of appearing as nondescript as any member of The Light, they were undoubtedly professionals. Father Gabriel didn’t use run-of-the-mill traffickers in his organization. This well-oiled machine required over-the-top devotion as well as top-notch performance. Kinks in the system were eliminated with the utmost proficiency. Without a doubt my phone could wait. I’d come too far to appear as anything other than completely devoted. I couldn’t risk becoming an eliminated kink.

  Under the cover of the hangar, my plane sat emptied of merchandise and fully refueled.

  “Brother Jacob,” said Brother Michael, the leader of this small party, offering his hand.

  Though I was larger physically than Brother Michael, he’d been on the Commission of The Light from the beginning, and the aura of power and control that surrounded him was equaled only by that of Father Gabriel. He was one of the four founding fathers. While everyone within The Light was given a biblical name, only the founders had been given the names of archangels. According to Father Gabriel that was because, like the archangels, these three men and he were with God, welcomed into His holy of holies and His private sanctuary. Brother Raphael at the Northern Light and Brother Uriel at the Eastern were also among the founders.

  Brother Michael’s power didn’t come only from his aura; the two large men on either side of him helped to maintain his standing. They obviously were more than members of the unloading crew. As Brother Michael and I discussed the transaction, his bodyguards made no attempt to conceal the weapons strapped to their sides. If I were to guess, each had at least one more gun strapped to the inside of his ankle. I knew I would, if I could, but delivering the pharmaceuticals unarmed was one of Father Gabriel’s requirements. He said it was a show of faith to our brothers.

  Even if I could, I wouldn’t have argued. This was Father Gabriel’s show and they were his rules.

  We shook. “Brother Michael, I’ll be sure to inform Father Gabriel that you inspected the shipment personally.”

  “Yes, do that, and let him know I’m pleased.” Michael tilted his head toward the big guy on his right. “Brother Reuben has something for Father Gabriel.”

  I looked in his direction, my gaze scanning his large muscular frame. Whatever he had for Father Gabriel wasn’t a payment. Actual money never changed hands. Untraceable overseas accounts kept people like Brother Noah at the Northern Light extremely busy. The billion-dollar operation had the whole checks-and-balances accountability thing happening. It involved accountants from all three campuses. That was the one part of the business I’d yet to learn. As far as Father Gabriel and The Light were concerned, money handling wasn’t my thing, nor was accounting. I was first and foremost a pilot.

  Brother Reuben reached inside his jacket, suspiciously close to his gun, and paused. The dramatization was for effect. I was the new kid in this assignment and no doubt was being tested at every turn. I nodded with a cocky grin, letting him know I didn’t fall for his ploy, all the while praying he wouldn’t shoot me before I made it back to Sara. Finally he removed an envelope from his jacket and handed it to me. The outside simply read Father.

  “Thank you, Brother Reuben,” I said as I took the envelope and turned back to Brother Michael. “Brother, is there anything else you’d like me to pass along to Father Gabriel?”

  “No, everything appears in order.” He stepped forward and patted my shoulder, sharing a grin of amusement at my reaction to Brother Reuben’s show. “I believe this will work well. Father Gabriel’s judgment has not been proven wrong yet. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

  “Thank you, Brother, I’m honored to have been chosen.”

  “As you should. You’ve reached an honorable level within The Light in a short time. Keeping our chosen with us and productive is our goal. To that end, my brother, have you seen the forecast? It’s been changing by the hour. Perhaps it would be better if you chose to stay here until tomorrow. Northern Light is a far journey.”

  I smiled respectfully, hoping the new vibration of my phone would continue to go unnoticed. “Thank you. My flight plan has me landing at Lone Hawk for the night. I won’t be heading back to the Northern Light until morning.” I wasn’t sure if his invitation was another test, but my flight plans were set and clear. Even with a small plane, it was best to have records of arrivals and departures. Lone Hawk was one of my favorite airports, privately owned with few questions asked. Even so, I’d never land my plane there with a full load of product. Once I landed, I planned to buy supplies. I wasn’t looking for anything to draw attention, only normal living-type stuff, things to make my stop believable. Besides, it didn’t make sense to fly back to the Northern Light in an empty plane.

  I checked my watch.

  Yes, right on schedule.

  “Very well, Brother, safe travels.”

  Once I completed my preflight checklist and was in the air, I checked my phone. It hadn’t vibrated since I’d spoken with Brother Michael, and due to the recording device in the plane, I wouldn’t be able to return a call until I landed at Lone Hawk. Above all, I didn’t want to risk anyone from the Western Light questioning my ethics.

  When the screen came to life my pulse quickened. I’d missed one call from Brother Benjamin’s phone and five from a burner phone.

  Shit!

  After the incident with Brother Timothy and Sister Lilith, I’d set up an emergency chain of communication. The long and short of it was that I was simply gone from the Northern Light too much. Even if Father Gabriel believed that the entire episode with Brother Timothy and Sister Lilith had added to Sara’s eventual success, I refused to allow anything like that to blindside me again. While having a wife increased my risks, with this system, I increased my odds. It was a gamble, but I believed Sister Raquel would help, if necessary.

  According to the screen, it was time to cash in the chips.

  Once I had the Cessna secured on Lone Hawk’s tarmac, I searched for the manager, Jerry. He was a quiet man, friendly in an unobtrusive sort of way. I made my way back to a small apartment area near the back of the hangar. I didn’t know if he lived there all the time, or just when he was working. Either way, I was happy when he answered my knock.

  “Jacob, I saw your approved arrival on the CBP e-mail. Welcome back to the big city of Whitefish.”

  “Thanks, Jerry. I have some business in town and was hoping you had that truck here I could borrow. I’ll bring it back in the morning, promise.”

  “No. Sorry. That piece of shit has seen better days.” His furrowed his weathered brow. “But I’ll tell you what, my old lady’s Chevy Tahoe is sitting out back. She ain’t going nowhere tonight. Besides, I’ve got my new truck if she needs a ride. You’re welcome to take the Tahoe into Whitefish.”

  “Thanks, Jerry. I owe you.”

  “Next time you’re here, you can bring me some of that Preserve the Light jelly. The old lady goes nuts for that stuff.”

  “I’ll do my best,” I promised, taking the keys he handed me and heading toward the beat-up Tahoe.

  If Raquel had u
sed that burner phone, it meant only one thing: trouble, serious trouble. As we’d agreed, I could answer a burner only with a burner.

  Before checking into the cheap hotel, I stopped at a gas station and purchased two burners. Something in my gut told me one wouldn’t be enough. Once in the hotel room, I plugged them both in and recalled the telephone number I’d hoped I’d never need to call. I waited for the ringing to stop. Once it did, I asked, “Raquel?”

  “Brother Jacob, tell me she went with you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Her voice changed to a low whisper. “Sara. Benjamin said you asked the Commission about her going with you on some of your flights. Please tell me that you did it, you took her without permission, and she’s with you.”

  I had asked the Commission, but I sure as hell wouldn’t bring her on one of these trips. The last thing I wanted was to have my wife around Michael’s goons. I took a deep breath. “Raquel, I left her in our apartment. She was in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast.” I tried to hide the trepidation. “She couldn’t have come. I didn’t have the Commission’s permission, and besides, she was scheduled to work in the lab today.”

  “I know. Benjamin was the one who contacted me and asked if I knew why she didn’t show up at the lab.”

  No longer content to sit, I paced the confines of the ratty hotel room. “That doesn’t make sense.” I searched for answers. “Was she ill? Have you checked in on her?”

  “I went to your apartment. When she didn’t answer, I used my key. She wasn’t there.”

  “And you’re sure this doesn’t have anything to do with Brother Timothy or Sister Lilith? God help me!” I wasn’t even trying to hide my distress any longer.

  “I really don’t think it does. At least nothing approved by the Commission.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Benjamin said it wasn’t mentioned during Assembly. He didn’t know until he got to the lab. Then when I couldn’t find her, he took me out to the pole barn.” She muffled a cry. “I prayed, but sh-she wasn’t there. Oh, Brother, I’m so scared.”

  My left hand held a fist of hair as I tried to think. “Talk to me, Raquel. Tell me what you’re thinking. Because right now, all I can think is I need to get in the damn plane and confront Timothy and Lilith, the Commission, hell, even Father Gabriel. If Timothy came up with another reason to have her banished, a reason to get at me . . .”

  “Brother Jacob, what if they didn’t do it? What if it had nothing to do with Brother Timothy?”

  Her words reverberated in my head. “What do you mean?”

  Raquel took a deep breath. “I should have said something. I just knew she wanted—”

  “Tell me!” My desperation sounded foreign, even to my own ears.

  “I know Benjamin will punish me when he learns I didn’t say anything.” She swallowed, suddenly sounding more composed. “And he’d be right too. I should have told him, but . . . Sara’s my friend. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get her in trouble with you or the Commission and because I understand her desire for children.”

  I couldn’t make sense of her words. “What are you saying?” My voice echoed against the dingy white walls.

  “A little over a week ago, she and I were talking. She told me that the two of you were discussing children.”

  I nodded. “We were. She said she wanted one, but I’m not ready, not with my new responsibilities.” Among other things that I can’t explain. “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Sara said she hoped you’d change your mind if she became pregnant.” Raquel paused. “She confided in me that she stopped taking her birth control. She didn’t tell you . . .”

  Her words trailed away as I doubled over, holding my stomach.

  I was going to fucking throw up.

  “When? How long ago?” My questions were barely audible over the mayhem in my head.

  She’d stopped taking her birth control. It wasn’t just birth control. It was the drug that specifically suppressed her episodic memory while allowing new memories to form. It was the unique creation of The Light and the foundation of why she believed she was Sara while having no recollection of being Stella Montgomery.

  “Over three weeks now.”

  My heart fell to my feet and tears blurred my vision. “Oh, God, do you think? Did she say anything to make you think she remembered?” I couldn’t even say it: I couldn’t say her life before me, before us.

  I hadn’t wanted a wife. I’d avoided it, but from the first time I saw her, before she was brought to the Northern Light, before Abraham and Newton hurt her, before I lied to her, I fell in love with her. I fought it with all my might. That day in the cold, her injuries were supposed to be worse, but I couldn’t let him keep going. I had to stop him. And then when I arrived at the hospital and her neck was bruised, I knew that Newton had hurt her more, and I refused to leave her again. I couldn’t.

  Raquel was speaking. “. . . didn’t, not that I picked up on at the time. Now I’m not sure. And there’s one other thing.”

  I nodded, trying to quiet the voices in my head, trying to still the chaos. “What?”

  “When we went to the hangar this afternoon, Brother Micah said that Xavier’s replacement, Thomas, had recently left.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “Well, he’s been in the community, unlike Xavier. I’ve seen him a few times.”

  I couldn’t speak. Sara wouldn’t risk punishment by speaking to a man she didn’t know. She surely wouldn’t leave the community with a man. My head moved dismissively from side to side. No, she wouldn’t do that. She was just talking about children, about wanting us to be a family.

  God, I was really going to be sick.

  Sara had said she loved me. That was the last thing I’d heard her say. “Raquel, are you saying Thomas may have taken my wife?”

  “Technically, yes, but I’m wondering if it wasn’t an abduction.” Silence filled the room. Finally she continued, “Brother Jacob, I’m afraid Sara may have gotten her memory back, or at least some of it, enough to confirm that she wasn’t Sara. Benjamin and I haven’t said anything to anyone. We know what Sara’s leaving will do to you with the Commission. They’ve already met today. Tomorrow Benjamin said he’d have to say something if Sara wasn’t back. But when he does, Benjamin said he’d remind the Commission that you requested permission to take her.

  “Do you think you can find her and bring her back?” Hope came back to her voice. “If you do, you can tell everyone that you took her. They won’t know she left.”

  “Find her . . . ?”

  My entire fucking world was gone, exploded, imploded. Years of work and sacrifice threatened, hell, most likely ruined. And while that should have been my focus, it wasn’t, not really. All I could think about was Sara. If she’d remembered, if she’d figured it out, then she undoubtedly thought I was responsible and knew I’d lied—that we’d all lied. “Raquel, if she remembers . . . she won’t want to see me.”

  “I remember.”

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “I’ve known for a long time,” she continued. “When my memories returned, Benjamin told me the truth and I chose to stay. That’s what I was praying would happen with Sara. Brother Jacob, Sara loves you.”

  “Sara, Raquel. Sara loves me. If you’re right, if she remembers, then I’m not looking for Sara. I need to find Stella, and I suspect Stella hates me.”

  “Think about it. I remember the Eastern Light. What will happen if The Light finds her first?”

  A cold chill ran through my body. “If you remember, then you know what will happen.”

  Raquel cleared her throat. “Brother Jacob, I’m completely out of line and I’ll pray about it, I will. If you choose to tell Benjamin, I won’t deny it, and I’ll accept whatever punishment he deems necessary. But I’m breaking the rules by asking you to question everything, no, I’m begging you . . . please, go to Detroit and bring Sara h
ome.”

  “How?” I asked. “How did you know she’s from Detroit?”

  “Because that’s where I came from—the Eastern Light. Isn’t that where we all come from?”

  I took a deep breath. “If I make it back to Northern Light with Sara, we never had this conversation. If I don’t, we never did. No matter what, it never occurred. You know what would happen if the Commission learned that you withheld information from them.”

  “I can’t lie to Benjamin. I trust him.”

  I nodded. “That’s between you and your husband. I’ll pray too. Destroy the phone you used. I hope we see you again.”

  “Me too. Godspeed, Brother Jacob.”

  The line went dead, and seconds later the phone that I’d been holding in a death grip struck the wall and, leaving a dent in the plaster, shattered to pieces. Picking up the largest piece, I pulled out the battery and the small SIM card. Then I dropped the remaining parts and, using the heel of my boot, smashed them to bits. With each stomp I contemplated my next move.

  I was so fucking close to finishing this, to reaching the end. Three long years. But . . . now . . .

  I knew without a doubt where she’d try to go, whom she’d try to reach.

  Nearly a year ago when I’d seen her in Dearborn outside Detroit, she’d been with him. She had been so happy, smiling and holding his hand. They had been walking through a sidewalk festival and laughing. I remembered the look I’d seen in her eyes. It took months before I saw a smile even close to the one she’d given to him. She’d trusted him.

  Fuck!

  Even if I did reach her before The Light found her, she wouldn’t trust me. If The Light got to her first, there wouldn’t be a question of what they’d do. My question was about Dylan Richards.

  What would he do? Would he do it again? Would he do what he’d done last October? If she contacted him first, would he willingly hand over his girlfriend in exchange for his pathetic existence? Would he once again deliver Sara to The Light?

  Once a dirty cop, always a dirty cop.